Since the feminist movement of the 1960s and 70s, women have gained a more equal footing in the workplace and society. Although most women will say we still have a long way to go, I urge you to look back to your mothers and grandmothers, and you will see how far we have come as a gender. Go to less developed countries where patriarchy still reigns with misogyny and violence against women. We in the first world have it made. So why do most of us think we need to act like men to get respect?
When we struggled for equal rights, we shouted that we were proud to be women, and that we were capable of anything as women, yet the first thing we did was burn our bras and start wearing pants. Throwing away our very essence of femininity. In order to make it in a ‘man’s’ world, we shouted at the top of our lungs that we were women, but took on very masculine traits to prove it. What happened to being a strong, yet feminine, woman? What happened to empowering ourselves with our womanly gifts to pave our way to the top? In the workplace, women are afraid of men treating them like airheads or sexually harassing them if they dress in skirts. But a strong woman wearing a skirt can put a man in his place if need be. An intelligent woman who enjoys wearing high heels to the office can impress others with her intellect if she chooses. Being feminine doesn’t mean being weak, or a target for harassment.
Women have also lost the art of fully embracing our innate femininity in relationships. We don’t really understand the dynamics of masculine and feminine anymore. Masculinity and femininity are complementary dynamics which together produce innate harmonious balance. When a woman uses her innate femininity, it instinctively puts men into their roles as masculine beings. If she is scared, men want to protect her. If a man acts extremely masculine and finds his wife ravishing, she will melt into his arms. If she gives him support and encouragement and treats him like her hero, he will automatically put her on a pedestal. We unconsciously fill these natural roles, and there is nothing wrong with this. Even homosexual relationships have a male / female balance. It is what is naturally expressed within us. You all have heard of the book Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus (or as I like to say, Men are from Mars, Women are from Heaven!) We are biologically different. We are emotionally different. Men are action, women are reaction. Men think with their heads, women with their hearts.
Why can’t we use those strengths to complement the other, rather than taking on opposite gender traits to appease the current collective norms of what men and women are in today’s age? When you act like a woman, men around you will automatically shift into masculinity around you, and vice versa. If a woman is acting like a man, perhaps by acting aggressively with her partner during a dispute, he will treat her like a man, and fight back or withdraw. If a man gets too feminine, a women will respond with sensitivity and comfort – woman to woman. Neither scenario creates the balance and momentum needed to propel the relationship out of problem at hand.
But feminine energy meeting a masculine energy equally in the middle of a situation can bring results that everyone is satisfied with. I ask women to bring their feminine nature to the table. Stop trying to aggressively fight your way through life. Use your unique gifts such as intuition, insight, and intelligence. And don’t forget the winning smile and the charming demeanor you possess. Put on the heels if it makes you feel gorgeous. Flirt with your partner. Wear more jewelry. Do all you can to feel like an empowered and delightful woman. But wait, you say “I am a woman and don’t need to wear skirts to feel like it. I can protect myself, and be financially well.” Fantastic I say! Are you accomplishing all of this as a man or as a woman? Because you can accomplish what you want either way. But there is something rewarding and nourishing about embracing the divine feminine. And I hope one day you will be able to – even just a little. Because everyone should feel like a princess sometimes.